horse-ebook:

deodrant:

I spent $31 at an asian supermarket….

how many asians did you get

sorelatable:

I hate when i lose something and my parents says “well i guess you didnt care about it enough” like you’ve lost me in a grocery store before so

typette:

doujinsushi:

when I was younger I used to watch Winnie the Pooh all the time and everytime I saw pooh eating honey I was always like “mmmm that looks good” so imagine my disappointment when I saw honey for the first time. Pooh is eating like nacho cheese lookin honey he had me excited for nothing

no, bro. Pooh is eating raw, unpasteurized honey. Like this:

image

godlike

sim0nbaz:

foxsan:

shuttersmiley:

sourcedumal:

jackthebard:

Just remember. There is no such thing as a fake geek girl.
There are only fake geek boys.
Science fiction was invented by a woman.

image

Specifically a teenage girl. You know, someone who would be a part of the demographic that some of these boys are violently rejecting.

Isaac Asimov.

yo mary shelley wrote frankenstein in 1818 and isaac asimov was born in 1920 so you kinda get my point

cokeflow:

Maybe I am maybelline 

sassykardashian:

sassykardashian:

sassykardashian:

i masturbate to dumb asks, keep em comin!

or should i say keep ME CUMIN

please stop sending me bible verses

sansaofhousestark:

doctorkpepper:

henrycavills:

in movies when kids sneak out through their windows and im just like why dont you have screens in your windows who doesnt have screens in their windows what do you just let bees and bugs and birds and shit fly into your room what the fuck

this is why you guys had the black plague.

therandominmyhead:

Yes just me, a dog. Taking a walk. With my dogs. Who are my friends. But also dogs. And I am a dog.

therandominmyhead:

Yes just me, a dog. Taking a walk. With my dogs. Who are my friends. But also dogs. And I am a dog.

hydrogyne:

romtorum5ever:

Robin the bank


#that pun was on point

genderedboy:

"Why do you want this job?"

Because under capitalism I am forced to sell my labor in order to subsist.

lamegirl93:

what if your stick figure drawings are hyper-realist drawings in an alternate universe of stick people

timebeagle:

imaginehanniballecter:

Imagine Hannibal Lector going down a slide and not once breaking eye contact w/ you. 

I’m picturing a spiral slide, so he has to whip his head dramatically to keep eye contact

darkbluetile:

thebrownskingirl:

You are so used to your features, you don’t know how beautiful you look to a stranger.

I can’t believe I’m even more beautiful than I think I am this is incredible where’s my modeling contract

milktree:

always ask a snail where they are going and if they need help getting there

essence of beauty: lisa bonet